twisted twilight
by diaryofhannah
Summary: Read this awesome series to find out what it would be like if jake married bella! really awesome series dudes! Disclaimer: we do not own twilight or any of the books or movies!
1. Chapter 1

**Bella**: please don't make me choose!

**Edward**: you have to choose, it's me or the dog.

Bella was dramatically standing in the middle of them, wondering who to choose.

**Jacob**: would you rather be with that leech?

Bella looks at both of them.

**Bella**: I think the choice is obvious.

**Jake and Edward**: I knew your heart would lead you to the truth!

Bella looks at Edward…

**Bella**: Edward…...I choose Jacob!


	2. Chapter 2

Jacob looks surprisingly at Bella, and picks her up and spins her around. Edward puts his arms on his hips.

Edward: "you know this isn't how the book goes!" He said with tears in his eyes and his voice shaking.

Bella breaks away from Jacob, and says, "Don't break the fourth wall!" sassaltaniously.

Edward: "I'm an emotional wreck!" he sobs, "can't I break a wall?!" Edward runs off into the forest sobbing.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella and Jacob walk to La Push, where they stand hand in hand.

Jacob: "Oh boy, I remember this."

Bella: "My knuckles are really weak."

They both laugh and Bella kisses Jacob on the cheek.

Jacob: "hey, do you want to see Wreck-it-Ralph with me tomorrow?"

Bella: "I've been dying to see that movie!"

Jacob: "me. You. 8:00. Tomorrow night. Wreck it Ralph."

They both kiss and walk away dramatically in different directions.


	4. Chapter 4

At the movies, Bella and Jacob sit in the front row holding hands during the marriage scene for fix it Felix and Sergeant Calhoun.

Jacob: "Bella, I have an important question to ask you."

Bella: (speechless, looks concernly at Jacob)

Jake grips the ring nervously and kneels down to Bella.

Jake: "Will you marry me?"


	5. Chapter 5

At the wedding Bella walks up the isle to Jacob. But last minute, she sees Edward, standing in the rain. He's never looked so upset. So disgusted. She ignores him sadly, and focuses on the best day of her life. Once Bella finally stands across from Jacob they both smile at each other. Jacob looks at Bella, the pink and purple roses she is holding match the roses on her dress.  
Justice of the piece just went ON and ON for at least 30 minutes! Finally he says " Jacob Black, do you take Isabella Swan to be your law-fully wedded wife?"  
Jake: " I do"  
Justice of the piece: "and do you, Isabella swan take Jacob Black to be your law-fully wedded husband?"  
Bella: "Well I didn't put on this dress for nothin'!"  
Justice of the piece: "I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!"  
Jake bands Bella down dramatically and kisses her. The whole crowd claps and cheers. And afterwards, everyone ate cake and and snacks until they all left.


	6. Chapter 6

Weeks after the wedding, Jacob and Bella had been working their butts off for their own house. They finally bought a cute cottage near La Push with perfect space and a perfect view. Bella is in the living room, unpacking boxes of random stuff. Jake walks out of the kitchen.

Jacob: "well, 2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, lots of space, a pretty nice place."

Bella: "hehe, space and place rhyme." She said stupidly

Jake: "let's unpack the tv and unload the couch first, I need a load off."

They spent three days unpacking stuff, and shopping for food. They both spent almost most of the day at La Push if they weren't working. Everything was perfect so far.


	7. Chapter 7

After almost every box was unpacked, and all of the cupboards full, everything was smooth except the ridiculous amount of cash they had to pay every month for bills. They both wished it would just rain money one day. (Who WOULDN'T)  
Bella: "IM OFF TO WORK!" She shouted into the empty house. "Oh yeah. SORRY GLEN GO BACK TO SLEEP!" She yells to the chipmunk in the furnace room.  
Bella texted Jacob for almost the whole day, during her strict job as a lawyer. Jacob was baking bread at Panera for 3 hours. They both ate at McDonald's for their lunch break and they enjoyed their time before they had to leave again.  
Later that evening, around 8:00, Bella had already returned home to make dinner, and they ramen noddles were almost done. :) When Jacob walked in through the front door shouting,  
Jake: "MAPLE SYRUP IM HOME!"  
Bella: "the expression was 'honey I'm home' " she said rolling her eyes playfully.  
Jake: "wait until I show you what I almost hit with the car on the way home!"  
Bella: "if its more road kill, I do NOT want to see it!"  
Jake: "okay that was ONE TIME and that skunk wasn't THAT bad."  
Bella: "we had to have the cleaners come to our house and completely spray it down"  
Jake reached out to the front door on the porch, picking up a small bundle of blankets.  
Jacob: "look what I found!" He said excitedly, showing Bella what was wrapped in he bundle of blankets.  
Bella: "is that your brother Frank?!"  
Jacob: "no it's my long lost Uncle Frank! There's a difference." Jacob held the dog near his face and gives her puppy dog eyes cutely.  
Jacob: "we shall call him Ferb and he shall be ours. He shall be our Ferb."  
Bella sighs: "is he house broken?"  
Jacob: "what do you mean by housebroken? I'm sure Glen can share his room with Ferb if you ask politely."  
Jacob went downstairs and talked to the chipmunk for at least 20 minutes while Bella pours the ramen noodles into bowls. Then Jacob came back up without Ferb.  
Jacob: "they're good." Said jake happily. As a series of chipmunk noises and barks came from downstairs.  
Jacob: "come on guys just work it out!" Jacob nods to Bella. "They're good." He reassures her.


	8. Chapter 8

Later that evening, Jake and Bella said goodnight to Ferb and Glen, cracking the door so Ferb wouldn't get scared. At around 2:00 AM, jake slowly opened his eyes to see Glen sleeping on his forehead. He removed the chipmunk by his tail and set him at the foot of the bed. He then looked at bella and saw ferb cuddled next to her.

Jake: "her she's mine!" he growled quietly. And he picked ferb up and set him next to shrugged and said, "better get up for work anyway."

That morning, bella woke to her annoying buzz alarm. After frustratingly unplugging it, she showered and got dressed. Once she showed up at work, they were already on a new case.

Bella: "cant wait for the weekend." She murmured quietly as she walked into the doors of the jury. This was going to be a long rest of the week.

Jake was at work, baking bread for his raise he was hoping to get from his boss. He was a decent baker. He especially liked making his own, then bringing it home for bella.

Once they finally showed up at home from work at 5:00, they were pooped out they both ate pizza and crashed on the couch for a few hours before going to bed.

Bella: "work was brutal. Totally tiring talking for my victim."

Jacob: "and I brought home some sour dough bread for you!" he said, holding up a small pink package. She kissed him and they fell asleep shortly after. That morning they didn't have to get up early because it was Friday and the weekend was tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

That cold morning, Bella and Jacob woke up.

"Good morning peanut butter!" said Jake happily.

"I think the expression was 'good morning sunshine'" said Bella laughing.

They both went to the kitchen to make breakfast. Jake made Bella some scrambled eggs, and he made some of his own. Today was Bella's day to go shopping. So she left just after lunch. Jake was going to take care of the animals this afternoon.

Bella came back around 3:15 with the back of the car filled with groceries.

"Hey! Lazy bones! Quit sniffing out the house for cats and come help me with groceries…you silly!" she said laughing.

Bella walked inside and saw Jacob was smiling foolishly and looking at ferb.

"Guess who's potty trained!" he said.

"Ohhh nooo!" exclaimed Bella.

Jake held up ferb and smiled. Then turns him around so they are nose to nose.

"Okay, just because you are now potty trained doesn't mean I'm not the alpha dog anymore!" he said seriously.

Off into the distance of the cottage, a young nerd is screaming "ALPHA DOG, ALPHA DOG!"

"What the heck was that?!" she said peeking through the window shades.

"Well obviously it was a young nerd off into the distance of our cottage!" said Jake.


	10. Chapter 10

Bella stepped out of her car, finally she was home from work! She walked up to the house, and opened the front door…her jaw dropped in surprise, the whole house was completely torn apart! The lamps knocked over and broken, a few windows smashed, pretty much everything wrecked and torn apart. The couch and its cushions were leaking feathers, a few plates had crashed against the kitchen floor and were broken. Even silverware was bent and a few broken. Jake and ferb were wrestling in the middle of the living room, tearing apart the cushions and couch. Jacob was in werewolf mode, growling and snarling. Bella stood there, now expressionless looking at them. Jake looked at her nervously and turned back into human mode.

"It's a really…complicated explanation…" said Jacob shyly. Bella just smiled, irritated.

"I'm going canoeing." She said still smiling. "uhh, we don't have a canoe yet." Said Jacob confused.

"I'm going to go chop down a tree and burn the inside just like the Indians did in the olden days…" she said STILL SMILING. She slowly walked out the door of the house out to the beach, actually doing what she said, making her own little home-made canoe. Every once in a while, she would hear something break, or a loud growl coming from one of the boys…or…dogs…yeah….she made the canoe and the paddle out of the one tree she chopped down. That also reminded her that she wanted to make a garden…she would do that later in the week. Anyway, she successfully canoed around the La Push waters, just until the sun set and the stars started rising. She parked her canoe on the beach somewhere someone wouldn't be able to see it and maybe steal it. She walked inside the house, opening the door and seeing the whole house SPOTLESS. Everything was clean, and Jacob and Ferb were standing there. Smiling.

"We worked it out." He said, patting ferb on the head gently. Ferb growled. Bella just walked past them and walked upstairs to make the dinner. RAMEN NOODLES.

(A/N) **_I AM SOOO sorry about not updating! D: I was so busy with school and homework and my schedule…but I just got out of school and I have no homework and my schedule is pretty much empty except I'm going to be traveling a lot this summer! I will try my best to keep updating and btw thank you all so much for all of the nice comments on my story! : D keep posting them they make my day! And btw read more of the Hannah stories they're rolling in! bye guys have a rockin' day!_**


	11. Chapter 11

They're all sitting at the table. Except ferb and glen, they are on the floor eating their ramen noodles from silver bowls. Jacob and Bella are sitting at the table eating their ramen noodles silently. Jacob glared at ferb still eating his ramen noodles; he made evil faces at him. Ferb did so as well! He seemed to glare at Jacob meanly and he still slurped his soup.  
"Down doggies!" said Bella through a mouthful of ramen noodles. Jacob and ferb whined and they both looked down at their noodles. Bella smiled and when everyone finished she washed the dishes and tucked glen and ferb into their beds in the furnace room. Once she was done, she tucked herself into their bed and fell asleep. Jacob came shortly after.

Bella sat up, looking around and rubbing sleep out of her eyes, she got ready for work.  
"BYE GLEN! BYE FERB!" she shouted out into the house as she got on her coat and picked up her suitcase. It was raining in forks. Not like it's ever NOT raining in forks. She drove her black car to work and entered the court house.

"Jacob! Make sure you make extra whole grain bread!" said Jacob's boss.  
"Got it!" Jacob yelled to his boss, who was upstairs in his office. Jacob pounded the dough, getting flour all over himself….  
later Jacob's boss needed more people to take orders, so he asked Jacob.  
Jacob headed to his first customer,  
"hello sir, may I take your order?" asked Jacob politely. When the man wasn't looking Jacob accidentally scowled at the man, he looked strange. He had his hood up from his jacket and he looked suspicious. The man looked at Jacob, taking his hood off. It wasn't just ANY man….it was Edward.

A/N _hey there! I really hope you enjoyed this episode! Leave me comments and say hello to me! :D I wasn't sure if I should update today, but I did anyway and here it is! I thought this episode was funny and suspenseful at the same time. I hope you thought the same! Well guys have a nice day/night and I will update some other time this week! Keep reading! _


End file.
